No Money Talk

In my forty-seventh year, the mailman delivered a business envelope one day to my recently widowed mother. Her hands quietly tore it open and she pulled out a $12,000 check, - quarterly payment on the sale of a Kane Furniture building that my father had mortgaged before his death. She verified the numbers, walked quickly to her desk, made out the deposit slip; there was “no time to lose” she said, before getting it into the bank for additional interest. To me, twelve thousand dollars was a lot, yes, quite a lot of money.

Mom noticed my wide eyes following her. Exactly what I said to
her just then I forgot, but I do remember the strong authority behind her reply, undoubtedly a precept from God: “Honey, don’t ever talk about your money. Nobody does it. It’s nobody’s business.”

Contrary to mom’s advice, or maybe because of it, I began to look squarely at those dreaded “what if’s” regarding money talk. What would be the consequences of personal money talk? What if I did tell all, for example, tell and come clean regarding the amount of money sitting in the account I put my name to? Would friends consider me plain silly?

In our group’s talk back session, women replied: “How often do we daily catch ourselves wishing to connect particular money issues with a friend -- a purchase, a loss, a new development in our finances -- and then falling silent because of popular convention, or so-called “good manners.”

Another declared: “Look what the rule of silence about sexuality has done to past generations. Isn’t it time for money talk to come out of the closet?”

A kind of liberation catches us when we put our money fears and joys on the table. After one of our money workshops, one woman theorized: "The words and money stories spoken in our group were blessings to all of us. We helped each other."

Hey, Mom. You were so right about so many things, but sorry, not on this one.