Money Metaphysical Musings

I love the story, one of the few found in all four Gospels. Jesus feeds 5000 people with five loaves of bread and two fish. I think about it, especially in the light of how a few pieces of food exploded into overflowing baskets .

The scene is set. Thousands of people lounge on the hillside, hungry to hear Jesus’ words of wisdom. For hours, He gives truthful guidance. They’re starved for truth, for the deepest meaning of what it really means to follow God. Jesus has answers.

Then I see Jesus sitting down to think. He must have been exhausted by then. Preaching can be, to put it mildly, tiring. He tells his disciples: “the people here are hungry. I am too! What food do we have?” By that time, I would have been starving.

Remember, we’re looking for a miracle here.

Next, holding the five loaves and two fishes, Jesus utters the most beautiful of prayers: “Thank you, Father.” He blesses them and they are consecrated.

Now, Jesus shares. He doles out the food and it seems to never stop. MORE and MORE food on the way. He smiles, in fact he laughs with it all. He feels the deep joy of giving. And all the people laugh too. They see something wonderful going on.

Sure, Jesus had a crowd in front of him to feed, but don’t we always have someone within our sight who can use an extra bill or two, a meal or a school tuition paid for a student who can’t afford it? The generous soul knows how to see, how to size up a situation and respond.

Finally, Jesus hears a child shouting. “I’m full!” Probably Jesus feels full Himself. So He toasts his disciples, then directs them: “Okay, collect the left overs. We can send them over to the next town.” The men collect and continue to collect. Is there no end, they ask themselves? The baskets are stuffed. Everyone is shocked. A tiny meal became a banquet with everything given.

This story reminds me of a close personal friend who calls herself a Distribution Center. Her faith loves this miracle and she is strengthened by her constant giving from her Center. “I try to sow in love, and love returns,...usually multiplied.

Speaking of multiplication! It was in Lenedra J. Carroll’s deeply spiritual book, The Architecture of All Abundance that I read and felt deeply moved: "Though it varies from year to year, I challenge myself to disperse up to 60 percent of my income, after taxes, to benefit areas other than my own personal gain, primarily humanitarian endeavors. I am aware this constitutes a radical generosity, yet is seems my income expands so exponentially as a result of my commitment that my personal wealth continues to grow rapidly.”

In other words, five loaves and two fishes explode into basket fulls, too heavy for one person to carry, too beautiful to behold

Try it! Consider your ability to multiply your own loaves and two fishes. You could be feeding more than five thousand. You could be feeding the world.

Up From the Dumps

Listen Up! You will fall, you will make silly purchases along with the bigger ones. You will buy a house for which you are ill-suited, or invest in a stock that goes belly up just after you got it, or purchase a car that becomes an obvious lemon because you finally get that it uses too much gas in this down economy.

But, I'm convinced that all money "failures" are meant to stretch us, move us forward, out of the ordinary. I'm convinced that God uses money to reveal us to ourselves. I can't spend a penny without realizing something about myself.

In a Pause For Beauty, author Ann E. O'Shaughnessy says "I think the real heroic moment is the gray morning, .....when you wake up feeling discouraged and alone, thinking about bills and politics, and you want to pull the covers up over your head and hide from the world. But, instead, you say a kind and patient good morning to your fears, get out of bed and get back to life -- this business of trying to live a truthful, soulful life...

As a former Nun, I harbored a little booklet in my pocket called; Confidence in God. It was my Bible fighting any discouragement take over. Discouragement, it said, is the "tool of the Devil" More, I heard our reverend mother proclaim. "Have confidence. God speaks loudest in times of our darkest moments."

Kick that idiot called discouragement or failure out to the sea. Call on God as you do it! You're not going to a slow boat to China. You're going to succeed and no one, not emotional dumps, not business woes, not hurricanes or tornados will triumph. God alone holds you close. And when you think there is no hope, no love and no mercy, you are being lead into deeper mercy and love. Trust me. It happened to me and I slowly, and yes painfully, saw how my failures finally turned to joy.

Whiplash

“Marrying you and your money was like whiplash” uttered my new and loving husband one night he and I were out at dinner. I was stuffing bills into his wallet, wanting it to look as if he were paying for the meal. Over the months, I had dizzily watched a new Jim, homeless no more, awakening again to what being in a money society meant. While he pulled out the bills and laid them on the tablecloth, he smiled again: “ Actually, I’d say life with you has been nothing less than three years of whiplash. I’m still scratching my head.

I was scratching my own. What had I done to enjoy the blessings of a close partnership to this man off the street! Yes, we fought, we prayed, and we laughed at ourselves as we reworked the marriage and money contract. Somehow we endured, found friends and a therapist to push us where we wanted to go. And from all that shifting and counting and enduring, Voila! a book, Money As Sacrament, was born. What I wrote on those pages - what thoughts I shared of my confusion, is the journey of a woman who candidly faced her money demons. They are not the same demons for all, and probably evoke disbelief or even comic responses. But these revelations I could only discover in the process of writing and interviewing other women. I liked what I learned.

I encourage you to read these inspiring stories of other women who challenedged their own money demons. You’ll find yourself living in some of their stories. My prayer is that you’ll be led to change beliefs and notions that don’t work for you. And I rejoice that many of the women on my pages became my own mentors. I hope they can become yours as well without the whiplash that Jim experienced.

Sacred or Profane

I seldom walk out my front door without thinking, "Whoa, have I got my purse?" Then I'll feel the familiar tug of the shoulder strap. I'll stop a moment to rummage, checking for my wallet, my checkbook, feeling the edges of a plastic card tucked within. I don't feel right going out without a few twenties or a fifty hiding in my wallet's folds. These are the forms of money that I "need" to have with me even if I don't plan to shop. I'm not the only one. Rarely do you find a woman without cash on her, no matter how paltry the sum, "Ah, it's there; I'm safe," she thinks. We might touch the bills for reassurance. It's that comforting feel of cash, the miraculous commodity that keeps life moving -- pays the grocer, the postal clerk, tips a waitress.

But it's more than that. You don't think money can buy happiness. Maybe it can't, but it certainly seems to stand for it. Fixed in my worn wallet are limitless possibilities for nurturing myself. No longer is money a source of shame and ambiguity in my life. Nowadays, whether I drive my car, pick up a birthday present, or splurge on another orchid, I celebrate this gift we call money.