Up From the Dumps

Listen Up! You will fall, you will make silly purchases along with the bigger ones. You will buy a house for which you are ill-suited, or invest in a stock that goes belly up just after you got it, or purchase a car that becomes an obvious lemon because you finally get that it uses too much gas in this down economy.

But, I'm convinced that all money "failures" are meant to stretch us, move us forward, out of the ordinary. I'm convinced that God uses money to reveal us to ourselves. I can't spend a penny without realizing something about myself.

In a Pause For Beauty, author Ann E. O'Shaughnessy says "I think the real heroic moment is the gray morning, .....when you wake up feeling discouraged and alone, thinking about bills and politics, and you want to pull the covers up over your head and hide from the world. But, instead, you say a kind and patient good morning to your fears, get out of bed and get back to life -- this business of trying to live a truthful, soulful life...

As a former Nun, I harbored a little booklet in my pocket called; Confidence in God. It was my Bible fighting any discouragement take over. Discouragement, it said, is the "tool of the Devil" More, I heard our reverend mother proclaim. "Have confidence. God speaks loudest in times of our darkest moments."

Kick that idiot called discouragement or failure out to the sea. Call on God as you do it! You're not going to a slow boat to China. You're going to succeed and no one, not emotional dumps, not business woes, not hurricanes or tornados will triumph. God alone holds you close. And when you think there is no hope, no love and no mercy, you are being lead into deeper mercy and love. Trust me. It happened to me and I slowly, and yes painfully, saw how my failures finally turned to joy.

Whiplash

“Marrying you and your money was like whiplash” uttered my new and loving husband one night he and I were out at dinner. I was stuffing bills into his wallet, wanting it to look as if he were paying for the meal. Over the months, I had dizzily watched a new Jim, homeless no more, awakening again to what being in a money society meant. While he pulled out the bills and laid them on the tablecloth, he smiled again: “ Actually, I’d say life with you has been nothing less than three years of whiplash. I’m still scratching my head.

I was scratching my own. What had I done to enjoy the blessings of a close partnership to this man off the street! Yes, we fought, we prayed, and we laughed at ourselves as we reworked the marriage and money contract. Somehow we endured, found friends and a therapist to push us where we wanted to go. And from all that shifting and counting and enduring, Voila! a book, Money As Sacrament, was born. What I wrote on those pages - what thoughts I shared of my confusion, is the journey of a woman who candidly faced her money demons. They are not the same demons for all, and probably evoke disbelief or even comic responses. But these revelations I could only discover in the process of writing and interviewing other women. I liked what I learned.

I encourage you to read these inspiring stories of other women who challenedged their own money demons. You’ll find yourself living in some of their stories. My prayer is that you’ll be led to change beliefs and notions that don’t work for you. And I rejoice that many of the women on my pages became my own mentors. I hope they can become yours as well without the whiplash that Jim experienced.

Sacred or Profane

I seldom walk out my front door without thinking, "Whoa, have I got my purse?" Then I'll feel the familiar tug of the shoulder strap. I'll stop a moment to rummage, checking for my wallet, my checkbook, feeling the edges of a plastic card tucked within. I don't feel right going out without a few twenties or a fifty hiding in my wallet's folds. These are the forms of money that I "need" to have with me even if I don't plan to shop. I'm not the only one. Rarely do you find a woman without cash on her, no matter how paltry the sum, "Ah, it's there; I'm safe," she thinks. We might touch the bills for reassurance. It's that comforting feel of cash, the miraculous commodity that keeps life moving -- pays the grocer, the postal clerk, tips a waitress.

But it's more than that. You don't think money can buy happiness. Maybe it can't, but it certainly seems to stand for it. Fixed in my worn wallet are limitless possibilities for nurturing myself. No longer is money a source of shame and ambiguity in my life. Nowadays, whether I drive my car, pick up a birthday present, or splurge on another orchid, I celebrate this gift we call money.

True Abundance

This is how one of my spiritual teachers described the meaning of wealth.

"When I’m alone on a starlit night, in the moon’s rays, I see an osprey descending on the tip of a telephone pole, thoughtfully to feed his chicks; I'm with that animal.

When I visit a city park, I observe giggling children at play and my heart leaps in delight at their unsupressed loudness.

I walk along the shore of the Atlantic Ocean and waves caress my feet. I can’t help but feel in my heart, a surge of infinity from that moving water. I don’t want to hold onto anything. I want to let everything go, to fly to the heavens and be free."

I resonate with his teaching. I pray for that soaring of vision that empties us of our clinging, of our need for so many possessions. That vision fills me with beauty, and wonder, as if a giant cup of God's grace is being poured all over me.

Loving What's Right Under My Nose

You know it is its very commonplace that gives money its enormous value. Like the water that we drink, money slakes our needs and is all around us. It lives in our pockets, our bank accounts and in the salaries or dividends yet to come. It is a best friend in the here and now. It is a soul's well-being.

I smile with this truth. I feel delight as I hand a bill to a florist, her flowers now in my hands, and soon to live in my friend's home. What is flowing through my hands, whether cash or card, is gift, is a sign of my communion with others. I love this gift we call money.

My Introduction as Table Topics Leader

Hello Dear Reader,

I've been a member of Toastmasters International for over a year. I belong to the Central Florida Facilitators chapter in Altamonte Springs. It's pure fun that happens in this group while we learn how better to craft our speeches.

I thought for this blog, I'd share my toastmaster introduction for my role as Table Topics Leader in this week of Thanksgiving.

"If the Catholic Church hasn't yet proclaimed a saint of Thanksiving, Adele Azar Rucquoi wants to be canonized as that Saint. Adele wakes up each morning feeling the gratitude of unbelievable blessings: the blessing of a loving husband, the blessing of loving friends, and the blessing of a new career in speaking about the beauty of money. Her aim is to lift the hearts of those who hear her, to help them lessen their financial anxieties, and to improve their relationship with their money. That's a blessing the whole world could use."

So there you have it: my public thanksgiving prayer.

Perhaps you can write your own prayer, and make sure you include the blessings that money has brought you.

Adele

No Money Talk

In my forty-seventh year, the mailman delivered a business envelope one day to my recently widowed mother. Her hands quietly tore it open and she pulled out a $12,000 check, - quarterly payment on the sale of a Kane Furniture building that my father had mortgaged before his death. She verified the numbers, walked quickly to her desk, made out the deposit slip; there was “no time to lose” she said, before getting it into the bank for additional interest. To me, twelve thousand dollars was a lot, yes, quite a lot of money.

Mom noticed my wide eyes following her. Exactly what I said to
her just then I forgot, but I do remember the strong authority behind her reply, undoubtedly a precept from God: “Honey, don’t ever talk about your money. Nobody does it. It’s nobody’s business.”

Contrary to mom’s advice, or maybe because of it, I began to look squarely at those dreaded “what if’s” regarding money talk. What would be the consequences of personal money talk? What if I did tell all, for example, tell and come clean regarding the amount of money sitting in the account I put my name to? Would friends consider me plain silly?

In our group’s talk back session, women replied: “How often do we daily catch ourselves wishing to connect particular money issues with a friend -- a purchase, a loss, a new development in our finances -- and then falling silent because of popular convention, or so-called “good manners.”

Another declared: “Look what the rule of silence about sexuality has done to past generations. Isn’t it time for money talk to come out of the closet?”

A kind of liberation catches us when we put our money fears and joys on the table. After one of our money workshops, one woman theorized: "The words and money stories spoken in our group were blessings to all of us. We helped each other."

Hey, Mom. You were so right about so many things, but sorry, not on this one.